Your personal relationship with violence

jrgan02I have to come clean…. I always loved fighting and conflict. Drawn like a moth to fire…. got burned too and came back for more. Some strive in conflicts. How many of us have been in confrontational situations and actually hoped the fucker would pull YOUR trigger? Be honest. My biggest challenge always has been de-escalation. The right words come out, but holy crap! I have to watch the body language. So when speaking in front of a group, I always tried to make my message other than “kick the punk’s ass” or “teaching him a lesson”, “showing he’s made a mistake”, “He fucked with the wrong guy”….. and more stupid macho cliches. My message was always more about “get yourself to safety” more than anything else.

Therefore, when shopping for a self protection program, a guy with a legit extensive SPEC warfare background is not an automatic qualifier. Everybody wants to be an asskicker. If that is your case join an MMA program. The language used to teach is a telling “marker” of a mindset not healthy for a regular “joe” who just wants to make it home in one piece. We love the tac-speak, “targets”, “objectives”, yada yada yada, “edged weapons” (Its a fucking knife)… don’t get caught up.

Great sport fighting creds are also not an automatic sign of competence. I got into it with a legend on another forum a decade or so ago… It was all about winning and kicking ass (sorry “arse” it’s the euro forum after all) . The stuff he showed was based on HIS skill level and probably would require a lifetime for a chump like me to acquire the speed and timing required to make his material work.

It’s all out there, but remember, as a paying customer it’s all about YOU, you don’t pay to hear the guy’s life story, you don’t care if he found Jesus, it’s self protection not a fucking christian revival. The instructor’s job is to make it work for you; a forty hour work week family guy trying to provide a good safe home for his family and you have a limited amount of time to dedicate to self protection. Pick wisely.

Critical assessments

mpWe always assume, when we teach, that the victim alone will be assaulted by one of many attackers. Like… you never go out with your wife or a friend? Maybe that friend/date/wife hasn’t attended senshido semis…. maybe your pal is one of those idiots who thinks he can take on a pack of bikers because he is a kungfool black belt from a mall Mc Dojo. Your choice of company can have serious implications on your odds of making it.

Sometime you are out and after a few drink an idiot with you starts to shoot his mouth, attracting attention from people you don’t want to mess with. What if your pal starts a row with a chump? And you are with your girlfriend? What if the feces hits the oscillating turbine (Shits hits the fan for the uneducated) and your date trying to intervene (the road to hell is paved with good intentions) and gets knocked out? What if your pal gets badly hurt and can’t walk? What if what if and more fucking what ifs….

Self defense situations will screw you sideways. Can you apply pre-package responses to all the “what ifs”? Like “today we will work on defending against 3 medium size men and a midget while your wife is too intoxicated to walk and you have a blister on your second toe, right foot”. NO.

So What do you do to sharpen the skills that will make you make it back with your honey with minimal damage? To answer that lets figure out what we need and prioritize…

HAH! Prioritizing is a good thing, but before you need “sizing up” abilities, AKA Observation skills. You need to process the environment you are in, the group dynamic in play, who’s the most dangerous threat and spot the way out of the mess…. In seconds if not fractions and figure out how you will neutralize the threats in a “tactical order” that will open an path to safety.

Holy freakin’ crap. The old OODA loop was a step in the right direction… Observe Orient Decide Act. Worst crap have been said. So as you can see, the scenarios to work on are limiteless. Self defense is a sochastic equation (multiple unknown variables) and as I always say : “Bad technique does not get you killed, bad tactics do.